The Life of Calvin: A Documentary
by calvinhobbes1010
Summary: IT IS FINISHED
1. Introduction

**THE LIFE OF CALVIN: A Documentary**

**By calvinhobbes1010**

Chapter 1:

_October 25th 1999: 12:00 A.M._

As I sit here at my desk, I am writing about the life a very hyperactive boy, named Calvin.

Oh, and me, well I am Delvin, Delvin Sachanbbo.

You really don't want to know about me.

All I really have to say about myself is my middle name is Hiate.

I know, it is a very strange middle name, but oh well, now onto Calvin's life.

Calvin does not know I am writing this.

I have set up cameras everywhere he goes, in his room, all over his house, even at his school.

Please, if you read this, do not tell him.

Now, onto day 1.


	2. Day 1

Chapter 2:

_Day 1: October 26th 1999: 7:00 A.M._

Right now, I'm looking at my surveillance camera in Calvin's room.

The alarm is now ringing, but Calvin is not awaking.

"CALVIN, GET DRESSED AND GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE"- Calvin's mom.

Calvin seems to be picking up a sledge hammer.

Oh no, the alarm clock is one of my main cameras in his room.

He is now taking a swing at the camera, shoot, now we have lost the main camera in his room.

OK, now I see him walking into the bathroom.

He is brushing his teeth.

I have two main cameras in this room, one in the drain (which I don't think was a very good idea" and one in the overhead light bulb.

Oh great, now he is spitting out his toothpaste, and now it has hit the camera and we have lost connection with that camera.

These cameras are not in very good places (curse those guys who were setting these cameras up, no wonder they only cost 5 bucks).

We have one camera right on the door, which is camouflaged with the color of the door.

He is now walking past the door.

Now he is walking into the dining room, and is eating some Chocolate Frosted Covered Sugar Bombs.

"Hey Calvin, guess what, I found this puppy on the street today, so I decided to take him in" – Calvin's mom.

"ARE YOU CRAZY, THAT THING COULD HAVE RABIES"- Calvin.

That puppy that his mom got is actually one of my surveillance cameras, it's just a robot.

"Calvin, be nice to the puppy"- Calvin's mom.

"BUT WHAT IF IT STARTS GOING INSANE"- Calvin.

"I think you have gone insane"- Calvin's mom.

"Calvin, hurry up and get your shoes on, your gonna miss the bus"- Calvin's mom.

"I'm hurrying"- Calvin.

Now I have already set it up so that Calvin will miss this bus, I bribed his bus driver to come early.

"CALVIN, HERE COMES THE BUS"- Calvin's mom.

"BUT IT'S ONLY 7:05, THE BUS COMES AT 7:10!"- Calvin.

"WELL IT'S HERE NOW, AND NOW IT'S LEAVING"- Calvin's mom.

"Oh darn (sarcastically) I guess I can't go to school"- Calvin.

"No, I'm gonna have to drive you to school, be ready to go in 10 minutes"- Calvin's mom.

Calvin is now walking up to his room.

He is talking to his stuffed tiger, Hobbes.

"Why aren't you on the bus?"- Hobbes.

"I missed the bus, so my mom is driving me to school today"- Calvin.

"But your bus is supposed to come right now, it's 7:10"- Hobbes.

"Yeah, but for some reason, it came early today"- Calvin.

"Hmm, I've been gettin' a really strange feeling this morning, it feels like someone is watching me"- Calvin.

Oh no, he's onto me, OK, DID YOU TELL CALVIN?

Well, I don't think you can tell, since you're the reader of this story, and you can't magically warp into this story, or can you?

Oh well, I doubt you told him anyway, no back to Calvin.

He is now getting in his mom's car.

I have set up some surveillance cameras in his mom and dad's car, in the clock, and in the rear view mirror.

And, since I knew Calvin would be going to school in his mom's car, I messed up with the cars wires.

His mom is putting her foot on the gas peddle, and now the horn is honking (because I messed with the wires).

She has pulled her foot off the peddle.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT"- Calvin's mom and Calvin.

"CALVIN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR"- Calvin's mom.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I SWEAR"- Calvin.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, YOUR GROUNDED, AND NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO CALL YOUR DAD AND TELL HIM TO COME PICK YOU UP AND BRING YOU TO SCHOOL"- Calvin's mom.

Yes, everything is going exactly as planed... I mean... oops... you didn't hear anything.

(20 minutes later) Calvin's dad has arrived.

"CALVIN I'M REALLY UPSET WITH YOU, I CAN LOOSE MY JOB, ALL BECAUSE I HAD TO COME PICK YOU UP!"- Calvin's dad.

"SORRY DAD"- Calvin.

I have already popped Calvin's dad's car's tires.

Calvin and his dad are about half way to school when...

"Oh great, my tires are popped, and I think I know how it happened... CALVIN WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY TIRES!"- Calvin's dad.

"I didn't do anything dad, honestly"- Calvin.

"Oh sure, and now I'm gonna grow bunny ears (sarcastically)"- Calvin's dad.

I have poured some potion on Calvin's dads head to make him grow bunny ears.

"Hey dad, your actually growing bunny ears"- Calvin.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTIN' REALLY SICK OF YOUR SARCASUM... WAIT I'M ACTUALLY GROWING BUNNY EARS, CCCCAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN YOU DID THIS!"- Calvin's dad.

"IT WASN'T ME, HONESTLY"- Calvin.

"THAT'S IT MISTER, YOUR WALKING TO SCHOOL"- Calvin's dad.

HAHAHA, MY PLAN IS WORKIN... I mean... oh too bad, Calvin has to walk.

Calvin has now arrived at school.

I have set up cameras in all the classrooms Calvin will be in today, and I'll take notes on his first class, History, and last class, GYM CLASS!

Calvin has walked into the classroom.

"CALVIN, your half and hour late"- Miss Wormwood.

"OH BE QUIET YOU DINOSAUR"- Calvin.

"Guess what, YOU JUST EARNED YOURSELF A DETENTION"- Miss Wormwood.

"Whoopee (sarcastically)"- Calvin.

"THAT'S IT, TWO DETENTIONS, NOW SIT DOWN"- Miss Wormwood.

Calvin has sat in his seat.

"Now today class we're learning about the Civil War"- Miss Wormwood.

"Or as I like to call it, the Boring War"- Calvin.

"YOU BETTER ZIP IT MISTER"- Miss Wormwood.

Now I have created a machine that launches spitballs, and I sprayed with invisible spray, and now I'm gonna make it look like Calvin is throwing the spitballs.

Fire number 1.

Direct hit!

"WHO DID THAT"- Miss Wormwood.

"OH LET ME GUESS, CALVIN!"- Miss Wormwood.

Calvin was almost asleep.

"What, what did I do?"- Calvin.

"You threw the spitball at me"- Miss Wormwood.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I DO EVERYTHING THAT IS BAD"- Calvin.

"Because you are bad"- Miss Wormwood.

"Ok class, gym time!"- Miss Wormwood.

Everyone is rushing to the gymnasium, and Calvin is the in the front of the stampede, and I put a twig in the hallway so he will trip and get run over.

Calvin is approaching the twig.

HE HAS TRIPPED, YES!... I mean, oh darn.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I'M GETTING STEPPED ON"- Calvin.

Calvin is now walking into the gym

"Ok, today class, we will play a nice friendly game of DODGEBALL, AND EVERYONE GANG UP ON CALVIN"- Calvin's gym teacher.

"Why are all these bad things happening to..."- Calvin.

He was interrupted by a barrage of dodge balls.

I had bribed the gym teacher to do that.

Calvin is now going to the front door of his house, and Hobbes is right behind the front door.

Calvin is opening the door.

"TIGER ATTACK!"- Hobbes.

"Oh please no"- Calvin.

Calvin is walking upstairs to his room, and he wants to go to bed early? This is not like Calvin.

"CALVIN, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN DINNER YET"- Calvin's mom.

But Calvin is already sleeping.

_End of Day 1_


	3. Day 2

Chapter 3:

_Day 2: October 27th 1999_

Today, Calvin has to go to detention (that his mom doesn't know about).

We will start off when Calvin is eating his cereal, and he then his mom gets a note from his teacher.

"Hey Calvin, what's this note in your folder, it says 'Dear Mrs. Calvin's mom, Your son Calvin, was very disruptive in class yesterday. He called me a dinosaur and was throwing spitballs at me. Sincerely, Miss Wormwood'"- Calvin's mom.

"CALVIN, I CAN'T BELIVE YOU. FIRST, YOU DESTROY YOUR FATHER AND MY CARS, AND NOW THIS!"- Calvin's mom.

"Okay, maybe I called her a dinosaur, but I did not throw the spitballs"- Calvin.

"HURRY UP, THE BUS IS HERE"- Calvin's mom.

Calvin is now running out to the bus.

He is getting on the bus, and I have put video cameras in the mirror and the back light of the bus.

I have also put some Invisa-Glue on Calvin's seat.

Calvin is now sitting down in his favorite seat, the very back.

"Hi Calvin"- Susie.

"I don't want to talk to you barf-for-brain"- Calvin.

"That was a really fun gym class yesterday"- Susie.

"OH BE QUEIT"- Calvin, and he is trying to stand up, but his butt is glued to the seat.

Susie is laughing.

"He is trying to stand up, but his butt is glued to the seat.

Susie is laughing.

"VERY FUNNY SUSIE"-Calvin.

"It wasn't me I swear"- Susie.

"CALVIN IT WAS I, DELVIN HIATE SACHANBBO, WHO GLUED YOU TO THE SEAT"- Me.

OOPS! I forgot I had my microphone on.

"WHO THE HECK IS DELVIN HIATE SACHANBBO- Calvin.

Calvin is now jumping off the bus, with his seat glued to his butt.

WHAT IS HE DOING?

He has now ripped off the seat, and is climbing up the gutter of his house

HAHAHA, THE GUTTER JUST BROKE AND CALVIN IS FALLING... I mean... poor Calvin.

Now Calvin is running to the garage, and is grabbing a ladder.

He is climbing into his room, he's doing this so his mom doesn't find out that he is skipping school.

Calvin is inside, and is running to his dad's computer.

Good, his mom is watching her Soap Opera on T.V.

Oh no, he's going to the internet site to find out who people are.

OH SHOOT, HE'S TYPING IN DELVIN HIATE SACHANBBO.

HAHAHA, he got no results, because that's not my real name... I mean... of course, he spelt it wrong.

WAIT, OH NO, HE'S GOING TO THE UNSCRAMBLER AND TYPING IN DELVIN HIATE SACHANBBO.

HIS RESULTS ARE COMING IN!

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(I'm crying right now)

The first and only result is...

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


	4. Delvin Is Discovered

_The format of this story is going to be changed from a first person present, to a third person view (so it will be like most of my other fics.)_

_-calvinhobbes1010_

Chapter 4:

Delvin is Discovered

The first result was... I HATE CALVIN AND HOBBES!

"What the..." said Calvin.

(I'm gonna keep calling I Hate Calvin and Hobbes, Delvin, just so it doesn't get confusing).

Delvin walked into Calvin's room and said: "Yup, Delvin is I hate Calvin".

"Buy why" asked Calvin.

"I've read all of your comic books, and when I saw how much trouble you and your idiotic stuffed tiger got into, I just hated you".

"But is your real name I hate Calvin and Hobbes" asked Calvin.

"Yes it is, but when I was born, my name was Mark. And I liked the name until I saw you and Hobbes in the comic books, so I changed it to I Hate Calvin and Hobbes".

"So why did you do all these terrible things to me. Like the cars, and the spitballs, why?" asked Calvin, very confused.

"Well, when I saw you and Hobbes, I was planning to get my message out to all of the people. So, I made a documentary on you, which told my plans, but in secret".

"A documentary?" asked Calvin.

"All of your questions will be answered... BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST" said Delvin, and he ran out and took Calvin's mom's car.

Calvin ran downstairs.

"MOM, MOM, YOU'LL NEVER BELIVE THIS" screamed Calvin, as he was running.

"What, that you began to build some character?" asked Calvin's mom.

'No, this guy, his name was Delvin, and then he changed it... well, I'll tell you the whole story later, but he just ran off and stole your car" asked Calvin.

"Do you know this guy" asked Calvin's mom.

"No, I mean, kind of" said Calvin.

"Well, let's call the police" said Calvin's mom.

"No, the police won't believe us, I'm gonna go get a bunch of kids from my class and we'll start our own police" said Calvin.

"Ok, let's go" said Calvin's mom.


	5. The Police Force

Chapter 5:

The Police Force

Calvin, Hobbes, and Calvin's mom, go into Calvin's dad's car and drove to Calvin's school.

Don't forget, Calvin ran off of the bus before school had even started.

So they finally got to school, and everyone jumped out of the car.

They ran down the hallway, ignoring Mr. Spittle's threats.

"Wow mom, your turning into a trouble maker yourself" said Calvin.

"Oh, when I was in school, I did a lot worse. I TPed the school, and lots of other bad stuff" said Calvin's mom.

"Then why do you always ground me?" asked Calvin.

"Because I want you to turn out better than I did" said Calvin's mom.

Hobbes, Calvin, and his mom arrived at Calvin's room and walked in.

"Excuse me Calvin and Mrs. Calvin's mom. Calvin is late for school and should go down to the office for his detention" said Miss Wormwood.

Calvin was just about to say something mean to her, but his mom said: "Oh be quiet you dinosaur".

Calvin high-fived his mom.

"Okay, this guy, named Delvin, has been doing all this bad stuff and wants to take over the world" said Calvin to his classmates.

"Now I'm starting a police force to stop this guy, now whose with me" asked Calvin.

All of the class raised their hands (either to miss school or for some adventure).

"Okay let's go" said Calvin and his mom.

"But..." said Miss Wormwood, but she was interrupted with a spitball right in her face, THROWN MY CALVIN'S MOM.

Everyone ran outside.

The buses were empty because all of the bus drivers went into the office for their morning coffee.

"Okay, since we have all of these kids, we're gonna need a bus" said Calvin's mom.

They all boarded the same bus, Mr. Hachalleron's.

Mr. Hachalleron was a professional water balloon fighter (which was a very strange job), so all the kids got their weapons ready to catch this guy.


	6. Ransom Dad

Chapter 6:

Ransom Dad

Calvin's mom got in the driver's seat of the bus, which all the kids called the PFWM, which stood for Police Force Waterballoon Mobile.

"Okay Calvin, where did this guy turn when he stole my car" asked Calvin's mom.

Then suddenly, there was a voice on the walkie-talkie of the bus.

"Hello, this is Delvin. I have take Calvin's dad hostage and I will not give him back, unless Calvin gives me all of his plans to take over the world" said Delvin.

"What? How did you get my dad" asked Calvin.

"That does not matter right now, you must show up at the really tall building in the middle of the city at 7:00 tonight" said Delvin.

"Calvin, you have evil plans to take over the world?" asked Calvin's mom.

"Hehe" laughed Calvin nervously "But if they got in the wrong hands, we could really get in trouble" said Calvin.

"Well just show up with some fake ones" said Calvin's mom.

"I HEARD THAT" said Delvin on the walkie-talkie.

"I will read them before I hand your dad over, so if their not the ones, because I know what they are, I will just keep your dad until you show up with the real one" said Delvin.

Calvin and Calvin's mom had to think.

If they let him take over the world, then everyone in trouble.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


	7. THe Invisible Spray

Chapter 7:

The Invisible Spray

Calvin's mom turned the bus around.

"Okay Calvin, can you think of any other ways to get your dad back?" asked Calvin's mom.

"Ummmmmmmmmmm, OH YEAH!" exclaimed Calvin.

"What?" asked Calvin's mom.

"I just thought of something. I made it last week. It's invisible spray" said Calvin.

"That's a great idea!" said Calvin's mom.

"But I think we should bring the plans just in case" said Calvin.

"Yeah" said Calvin's mom.

Calvin ran into the house and grabbed about 15 cans of invisible spray, and the file folder with the plans in it.

Everyone went into Calvin's house to eat dinner, than they went outside and began to spray.

Once everyone was sprayed, they ran into the PFWM.

"Okay, so we're gonna run up to the top floor and push Delvin out of the building" said Calvin.

"Everyone?" asked Calvin's mom.

"Sure, why not. The more the merrier" said Calvin.

They arrived at the building and everyone ran up the stairs.

"Okay, now your gonna cooperate, right?" said Delvin, holding Calvin's dad.

"Yes" said Calvin's dad.

Then, there was the sound of glass breaking, and a voice saying "OOPS".

"Who goes there" said Delvin, but there was nobody there.

Then, someone pushed Delvin right out of the window, and grabbed Calvin's dad.

"Let's go honey" said Calvin's mom.

"Are you invisible" asked Calvin's dad.

"No questions, we have to hurry" said Calvin's mom.

They ran down the stairs and when they got out of the building, they were in for a surprise.

"DELVIN" screamed Calvin.

Delvin was standing on the top of the bus, with the file folder in his hands.

The invisible spray was wearing off.

"HAHAHAHA" laughed Delvin maniacally.


	8. Chasing Delvin

Chapter 8:

Chasing Delvin

Delvin jumped off the bus and ran into a car that still had the keys in it.

He started to drive down the road.

Everyone in the Police Force, including Calvin's dad, got in the bus.

"Calvin, you have to drive, because I have to untie your father" said Calvin's mom.

"Finally, I get to drive" said Calvin.

Calvin put the keys in the ignition, and started to drive.

"I can barely reach the peddle, Hobbes, come push on the peddle so I can turn the wheel" said Calvin.

The high-speed chase had begun.

The bus was going as fast as it could, and Calvin finally caught up to Delvin in his car.

"We're right on his tail" said Calvin.

They started to fall behind.

"Hobbes, push on the gas a little faster" said Calvin.

"Everyone start shooting your water balloons" said Calvin's mom.

Everyone opened their windows as wide as it could go.

They started shooting.

They nailed the windshield, which caused Delvin to swerve.

"He's a mad driver" said Calvin.

Then Delvin took a sharp turn down an alley way, almost tipping the car over.

"I don't know if we can fit, everyone, get your guns inside the bus" said Calvin.

He turned down the alleyway, and the sides of the bus screeched against the walls of the alleyway.

"OH SHOOT" said Calvin.

They finally made it out of the alleyway.

"HOBBES, LET'S GO AS FAST AS WE CAN GO" screamed Calvin.

The bus was right on the bumper of Delvin's car.

"Hobbes, take over driving, I'm gonna jump" said Calvin, and he walked back to where the ceiling window was of the bus.

Calvin climbed up on the top of the bus, and grabbed one of the grappling hook guns in the bus.

He shot the grappling hook, and hit the back car window.

He handed the grappling hook gun down to the kids in the bus, and they tied it around one of the seats.

Then, Calvin got a clothes hanger.

He walked over to where the rope connected the bus and the car.

He put the clothes hanger on the rope and slid down it.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH" screamed Calvin.

He landed in the trunk of Delvin's car, and Delvin didn't here him because he had the radio up all the way.

He snuck up behind Delvin, but Delvin threw Calvin right out the window.

Calvin grabbed on to the open back window, and went up to the top of the car.

He started to crawl so he wouldn't fly off.

Then he detached the grappling hook from the car, and broke the spikes off to use as knives to hold on.

He inserted the "knives" into the top of the car, and started to crawl.

Once he was near where Delvin was sitting, he cut a hole open in the roof and crawled in.

"Hello Delvin" said Calvin, as he peaked his head into the car.

He latched himself onto Delvin's face and the car began to swerve.

The bus pulled off the road so they wouldn't crash.

It was all up to Calvin now.

Calvin slammed on the steering wheel, causing them to crash into a mailbox.

The air bag dipploied as Delvin tried to get up.

Calvin grabbed the cell phone in the car and called the police.


	9. Epilogue

Chapter 9:

Epilogue

Delvin was sent to jail for fraud and stealing.

Calvin had gotten a 1,000 dollar reward.

After the incident, Calvin was always looking around for cameras.

**THE END**


End file.
